It's been a while. Life has taken its toll on me lately. I've been feeling down since...I don't know... since I put too much unreasonable feelings in my heart that day I guess. Sucks. Big time! It hurts. It really hurts. Can I just sell my feelings on mudah.my? I don't want 'em anymore... Oh man, it's hard to let go of this stupid feeling! Maybe it's time for me to leave..but a friend of mine told me "If you leave Niza, you are just running away from the problem... It won't solve anything". Indeed. Sigh.
The thing about me is, I don't really care about a lot of things. Seriously. I don't care if the Earth is round or spherical. I even put hold on important stuffs like my study plan, my love life, my marriage plan, my friends, my friends' problems and yadda yadda yadda. But, when I do care, I tend to care too much. And I care about YOU! Really?! Why?! Cause I love you damn it! Urgh. This hurts. Really. My concerns...errm..were mostly under-appreciated. Oh well...
One sided love is always the worst. There's no echo as you shout on your own. The only sound you'd hear is the sound of loneliness. Ok, that's it... I'll be alone forever. Just me, myself and I. Me, myself and I!
Dear You, I'm sorry that I love you. I'm sorry that I have feelings for you. I didn't plan to fall for you but I fell...hard. Really hard. I'm sorry. I love you but I know I have to go. Maybe it's time for me to let go. I'm sorry that I keep asking you to smile and be happy even when you are not. I'm sorry for wanting you so bad. I know I am not the one you need. I love you, goodbye. ZzzzzzzzzZ
At the moment, there's a song to describe my feelings... Well, it's not really how I feel..but close enough. It's a song by Papinka, an Indonesian band entitled; "Masih Mencintainya".
Papinka - Masih Mencintainya
Jika teringat tentang dirimu
Berlinang air mataku
Ku rindu saat-saat bersamamu
Kasih sayangmu padaku
Namun kini kau bukan milikku
Dan berakhir sudah cintaku
Biarkan saja hatiku bicara
Ku masih sayang padamu
Aku selalu mendoakanmu
Agar kau bahagia
Bersama dirinya selamanya
Mengapa mudahnya hatimu mendua
Ku lapangkan dada walau aku terluka
Semoga bahagia bersama dirinya
Karena kau telah memilih dia
Berlinang air mataku
Ku rindu saat-saat bersamamu
Kasih sayangmu padaku
Namun kini kau bukan milikku
Dan berakhir sudah cintaku
Biarkan saja hatiku bicara
Ku masih sayang padamu
Aku selalu mendoakanmu
Agar kau bahagia
Bersama dirinya selamanya
Mengapa mudahnya hatimu mendua
Ku lapangkan dada walau aku terluka
Semoga bahagia bersama dirinya
Karena kau telah memilih dia
Betapa sakitnya apa yang ku rasa
Tuhan kuatkanlah hatiku yang terluka
Semoga ku bisa tuk melupakannya
Karena ku masih mencintainya
Namun kini kau bukan milikku
Dan berakhir sudah cintaku
Biarkan saja hatiku bicara
Ku masih sayang padamu
Aku selalu mendoakanmu
Agar kau bahagia
Bersama dirinya selamanya
Mengapa mudahnya hatimu mendua
Ku lapangkan dada walau aku terluka
Semoga bahagia bersama dirinya
Karena kau telah memilih dia
Betapa sakitnya apa yang ku rasa
Tuhan kuatkanlah hatiku yang terluka
Semoga ku bisa tuk melupakannya
Karena ku masih mencintainya
Tuhan kuatkanlah hatiku yang terluka
Semoga ku bisa tuk melupakannya
Karena ku masih mencintainya
Namun kini kau bukan milikku
Dan berakhir sudah cintaku
Biarkan saja hatiku bicara
Ku masih sayang padamu
Aku selalu mendoakanmu
Agar kau bahagia
Bersama dirinya selamanya
Mengapa mudahnya hatimu mendua
Ku lapangkan dada walau aku terluka
Semoga bahagia bersama dirinya
Karena kau telah memilih dia
Betapa sakitnya apa yang ku rasa
Tuhan kuatkanlah hatiku yang terluka
Semoga ku bisa tuk melupakannya
Karena ku masih mencintainya
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