Mute

The day it happened: 30 Nov 2016
Reason it happened: Saje-saje
How I felt about it?: Devastated. I felt heartbroken. The trust was broken. I gave up...

I waited and waited for your gutsy move in explaining what happened, why you went astray by trying to eat out. You chose to deny and lie. I acted stupid. Yeah. You pretended as if nothing happened. I showed you the picture. I vividly remembered the blanket we exchanged before I left for OZ. How could you.

1 Dec 2016: I went all muted. I refused to respond to your texts. But I failed, miserably. Despite ignoring your texts and keeping you at mute, I still waited. Why? Coz I was an idiot I guess.

3 Dec 2016: Still no explanation. I decided to block your calls. It's better this way coz I'd know you couldn't get through me. I blocked, unblocked, blocked and unblocked again. Shitty me.

Most of the time now, I don't really feel anything anymore. Boy, am I worried? Yes. But... You broke me AGAIN... God knows for how many times already.

I was really beaten up. I was helpless and hopelessly waiting for nothing. The promises you made. How I struggled to not do what you hated all this time. Tell me something, am I wasting my time?

Now: It has been 25 days since I went all mute on you. I didn't wanna hear your chimes when you whatsapped me. I was really down and dead-disappointed Booby. Why did you do it? Were you bored of me? You must have been bored of me. Or else, you wouldn't do it, would you?

I'm sorry. I told myself. This rogue will go on till you decide to come and see me... face me. Talk to me personally. I wanna look at your face when you lie. Till then, you are on my silent list. I wish to give up now, let go of everything. This is not the first time you broke me. How many times do I have to bear this Booby? Why? Am I just a toy???

Forgiven but not forgotten:
I forgive you. Seriously. But it's hard for me to forget. It still gets me...the thing you did. I still can't figure out why. I guess I am an idiot after all.

Thank you Booby.