Sakit...

Hmmm...the word clearly speaks the meaning...both mentally and physically.
What a tragedy..trembling like a goat, trying to escape from the sacrifice. Last night was like..re-capturing my past..I can see now..it is coming back..no matter how much I tried to hide it and not speak about it, it hits me back....

It hurts..it hurts....it really hurts!!! My face...my body...my soul...my lips...my shoulder...my everything...they hurt! Words cannot explain how much it hurt... all the shaking, the shivering, the trembling.. It haunts me again!!! IT IS HAUNTING ME AGAIN! Those bad memories.....

Stop...stop!...it's painful...you cannot see the pain...all you can do is blame.... I'm scared to death.. I feel like hiding in the giant closet and wait till you leave. Sakit.....sakit.....sangat sakit.... I always imagined that..one day, when you push me and hit me, I accidentally hit the glass windows. What will happen then?.. I was awfully scared. It hurts..it hurts...

I am sorry for not telling you..but there are things better kept secret. I bet you knew that already. I cannot face this again. What a nightmare for me. Sakit..which part of sakit don't you understand? It hurts!

I am sick. I am ill. I am not feeling well. The swollen soul is crying, begging you to stop. It hurts. It hurts!!! Please........................................saye sakit yang amat sangat. SAKIT!!!! I know I've hurt you gazillion times before...but did I ever hit or push you or force you to do something you don't want to? Did I ever use violence against you? If I recall....nevermind... it hurts! It still hurts!


Mark my words, I WILL REMEMBER THOSE! THE SLAPS, THE HITS, THE SWELL WILL FADE BUT MY SWOLLEN HEART WON'T!........................................... stop doing those to someone else! Lastly, I am sorry for everything!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!