Monday, May 25, 2015

How long?

How long?

Remember this song? How long will I love you? How long?
Only time will tell. 

Don't you want to be happy? You deserve to be happy. Don't you want to leave? You will be a lot happier (if it is not happy) if you leave. You will be free. No more hardships, no more drama, no ME.
Don't you want to be happy? 
How long?

I love you, goodbye

I always believe that all songs written out there can somehow relate to how people feel. There is always a different song to describe you at different times and how you feel at those. Right now, this is how I feel. This is a song written by Diane Warren. I could not find Celine's rendition though. This is "I love you, goodbye" performed by Nina Girado.
I love you, goodbye

Wish, I could be the one
The one who could give you love
The kind of a love you really need

Wish, I could say to you
That I'll always stay with you
But baby, that's not me

You need someone
Willing to give their heart and soul to you
Promise you forever
But baby, that's something I can't do

Oh, I could say that I'll be all you need
But that would be a lie
I know I'll only hurt you, I know I'll only make you cry
I'm not the one you're needing, I love you goodbye

I hope someday you can
Find some way to understand
I'm only doing this for you

I don't really wanna go
But deep in my soul I know
This is the kindest thing to do

Can't find someone
Who'll be the one that I could never be
And give you something better
Than the love you find with me

Oh, I could say that I'll be all you need
But that would be a lie
I know I'll only hurt you, I know I'll only make you cry
I'm not the one you're needing, I love you goodbye

Leaving someone when you love someone
It is the hardest thing to do when you love someone
As much as I love you, oh, I don't wanna leave you
Baby, it tears me up inside but I'll never be the one you will need
You're needing, I love you goodbye

Baby, It's never gonna work out
I love you goodbye

Thursday, May 7, 2015

Not cool, man!

Making fun of people is always fun. That's why it is called making FUN. However, you should know when to stop and not cross the line. Why? Did you know that when you make fun of others, they will lose their self-esteem and self-confidence because they are on the receiving end of your pathetic put-downs!?

Dude, it is totally unacceptable how you disrespected me just now! Hurting my feeling is one thing. Bringing me down so you could look and sound cool??! That is not cool, man.. So not cool. I felt intimidated but I kept it to myself, "It's okay... he's just teasing.." 

You have crossed the line 'brother'!

I know I should not have taken things too personally but when it comes to saving my face, pride and honor, I do take things personally. When you downgraded and name-called me to that level, I was surprised that it came out from your mouth. Was that really you, my friend?! Were you drunk?!

Next time, when you have nothing positive or good to say, it is best for you to shut up! Oh well, I know the game you played just now. You put me down to gain status among our friends. You put me down to look cool. Gosh. You are so cheap. Not cool, man!

For what you said to me just now and for what you did to me just now, I thank you. I have let myself belittled by you and I have allowed you to disrespect me. It is okay. I understand. You needed to look cool and gain more friends. Well, you can have them. No problem.

I forgive you.

"I don't have time, energy or interest in hating the haters; I'm too busy loving the lovers" 
~ Steve Maraboli

Tuesday, May 5, 2015



Bloggy: How many times do I have to tell you it's not good to start something with a sigh!!!
Me: Oh well..(sigh)

Dear you (yes, YOU), I never thought that you would actually read this blog. For that, I thank you. (p/s - You should consider leaving comments sometimes..)

I never thought that this blog is meaningful to you. Really? Seriously? I thought you did not care...

Was that real when you said you felt like "disiat-siat" knowing this blog was removed?! Really? Hmmm..(sigh again)

Did you really mean it when you said you were willing to pay me just to see the blog goes online again?! Really? I should make some money then... shouldn't I?

For temporarily removing it, I am sorry. I was just trying to keep it private while organizing the entries... I am sorry. Really, I am.

I know I have let you down on many occasions lately but I truly am sorry. I might have gone off track and took things on my own. 

I have not forgotten the promises I made. I remember. I remember how kind you were to me. I remember them all. You are so special. I have no excuse for what I have done to you. I was totally lost and I am trying to find my way back into your love (if you would let me in). 

Do you still have a space for me in your heart? 
Do you still love me the way you did last year? 
Will you still love me tomorrow? 
How long will you love me?
How long will you keep me in your heart?
Am I still special to you?
Will you be mine forever?

Monday, May 4, 2015

The Blue Panda

Hey there bloggy...
Pheww.. I am done with this big presentation "DGBLL in L2 Context". Thanks a bundle to my awesome group members! Doris, you were awesome! Tajul, as usual.. you killed it! :) We're from The Blue Panda.. like what Paul said; "It's a good name for a bar".. Muahahaha.. but we might have taken it too literally though... because we have our blue panda!!! Hugs.. xoxo

Friday, May 1, 2015

Before I go to sleep...

"I miss you when there's no reason to, how much more if there is? 
I miss you when we talk, how much more if we don't?
I miss you after we're together, how much more if I see you never?
I love you now, how much more later?"


Oh boy... what a craaaaaazyyy week. I survive! I have just submitted two 2500-word articles for this week! What an achievement. Pheeew. Though I am not sure what I have just submitted but f**k it, I get to live another day! Woohoo. It is Fri-Yay, but not so YAY for me. I still have a presentation coming up...real soon. 

Actually, I have a feeling and it is magical. What? This feeling. Lately I have been feeling like I am falling out of love. So, I told myself "Hey, that's okay.. if it's not meant to be, just leave..." But a part of me wanted to stay. The selfish part. Then I stayed.

The thing is.. I cannot really describe this. I was out of love. Then I was in love again. I just keep on falling in love... I am telling you. It is weird...and almost magical.

Majestic? No way. Just magical. Sometimes I wonder, why do I keep on falling in love with you. But I cannot deny the fact that I feel the distance. Sometimes you are far, yet I could feel your presence. Sometimes you are near, but you are not there.

Can somebody describe this feeling? Told ya, it is magical. No matter how far I try to run away, you will always be there to pull me in... back in love. Why? Why?

Right now, I am in love. I am in love with you...again. It is you.

#bestill my heart... 

"In your absence my heart grows stronger. In your presence I fall in love again.."

p/s - Remember when we used to drive? I would hold your hand and we would lose all track of time. Remember that?