Sunday, May 31, 2009


Yeah....that's it...

It's tomorrow...

All the best then....;p

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Goodbye Tok Bob. Have a safe journey..

......."Wahai Zakaria binti Hawa', insafla kamu...wahai Zakaria binti Hawa, kamu akan memulakan perjalanan menuju ke akhirat..dan kelak, kita semua akan dibangkitkan. Ya Allah, dengan menggunakan kelepasan dan kemudahan di atas nama penghulu kami, Muhammad SAW, Kau permudahkanlah jalan bagi Zakaria Binti Hawa dan jangan Kau seksa akan beliau dengan seksaan kubur yang dahsyat...Wahai Zakaria Binti Hawa, usah kau bimbang dan gelisah akan soalan-soalan dari Mungkar dan Nakir kerana mereka adalah makhluk Allah sepertimana kamu juga..."

Those were some lines from the 'talkin' just now. I thought nobody would come to the burial. Thank you Uncle Li, Uncle Mazlan, Uncle Din, Pak Nasir, Pak Jusoh, En Amar, Ayah Man, Tokki Raja Ali, Mak Zah, Mak Cik Zaharah, Pak De, Pak Long, Mama De, Kak Long, Tokki, Didi, Amir, Pi, Marwan, Faez's friends, Mak Cik sewa rumah and families. Thank you for coming. It helped a bit.

I can't believe Tok Bob's gone. Selamat dikebumikan at nearly 11++pm. He passed away just a minute before azan asar. I was panicked. I didn't know what to do...I called Tajul... Faez called Pak De... He fell just beside his bed, with his inhaler in his hand. It was depressing. His face was against the floor. Faez and I held him tight and put him on the bed properly. His right eye was opened. I closed it with my hand. Innalillahiwainnalillahirajiuun. We covered him with his favourite wool blanket. I held his hands and I kissed them. I was panicked. Pak De hadn't arrived. I didn't know what to do. I then went to the toilet and I took my shower.

Soon as Pak De was here, he went straight to Tok Bob's room and confirmed the death. Tok Bob was still warm that time. It means, he just left us. I was so gelabah. I told them, I need to fetch Haikal from school. I couldn't stay. I was sorry. I drove the car crazily. Then at Kemaman, there was an accident. A biker was hit by a Kancil and it was horrible. I hate Malaysians who really have deep passion in rubbernecking. It caused the congestion! And I was late. I stucked in the jam for nearly 45 minutes! During that time, I told myself.."Hey, that could be me!" and I drove more cautiously... I was ting tong... I couldn't think right.

I cried all the way to SMK Mak Lagam. I stopped at Shell gas station and I cried. The Bangladeshi looked at me and asked me what's wrong. I didn't respond to him. Then I left. Haikal was already packed up and he was waiting for me at the gate. What makes it harder for me was..hearing Mummy's crying on the phone. She's suffering with her illness at the moment. She was not prepared for this! Haikal and I went home after that.

Back at home, Tok Bob was cleansed and I saw some unfamiliar faces who washed him. I couldn't take it. I almost cried. Then I joined them. He was shining! Seriously like a brand new Seiko wrist watch. What hurts me the most was...there's a small bruise on his forehead. He looked peaceful and I swear to God, it was like he's sleeping in peace. No more pain and asthma. Good for you Tok Bob.

During the 'kapan' process. I held his feet tight and I tied some parts of the kapan. For the last moment, Faez, Haikal and I kissed Tok Bob goodbye. I kissed him three times...and it was not enough. I wish he could stay..... Goodbye Tok Bob. I love you so much.

Then we carried the 'jenazah' in Pak Long's lorry. We headed to Masjid Sg. Udang for solat jenazah. It was painful for me. I kept it to myself all the way to the Kubur. I was not ready for that. It was dark...for a second, I wondered where would he be buried.

He was safely burried in front of his late wife's and my mama's graves. The names at the grave compound read like this.."Raja Long bte Raja Omar (my grandma) and Lailawati bte Zakaria (my mama)". It's like, he's the leader. Alhamdulillah. All of you are together, finally. All of you stay close to each other. I'm happy for you Tok Bob.

Then all of us were needed to bury him. It was tiring...I wish that moment lasts. Then, came the 'talkin' part. Sad looking faces were everywhere. I thought nobody would come..but it turned out, a number of them paid the final tribute to Tok Bob. Alhamdulillah.

A million thanx to Pak De, Tokki and Pak Nasir for comforting me and my brothers. We will be having the tahlil starting tomorrow...and I don't know until when.

Faez and his friends; Joe and Pi packed Tok Bob's stuffs and belongings. It was throbbing seeing some gifts from my dad weren't even opened..and they were still wrapped and in good shape. Notice that I haven't mentioned about abah. Up to this moment, abah is not here. We couldn't wait for him. He's still in Sabah. I'm sorry for abah too....don't worry, we will go to Tok Bob's new home together.

I still can't believe Tok Bob's gone. It was so fast. I still have his glass filled with his last sip of tea. I still have his inhaler in my room. I still have his kain pelekat which I just washed it last night. I still have his favorite ball pen. I still have his vomit on his pillow. I still can smell his scent in his room. I still keep his slippers. We have tidied up his thing that is missing...Tok Bob. I wish he could stay...I really do.

His last words to me was.."Mad, Tok Bob nak rehat kejap..." That wasn't short! Wake up Tok Bob, pleaseeeeee.... I thought I could hear him breathing...but...he left us..he left me... I know he loves Faez the most..but it's ok..Faez spent too much time with him compared to me... Thank you bro...You're the best brother I've ever had!

Right now, I really miss wiping his vomit on his chest. I really miss holding his hands at night before he sleeps. I like watching him sleeping. Sometimes, he sleeps like a baby, hugging tight his bantal golek. I am going to miss that. I miss Tok Bob! I miss talking to him loudly. I miss holding his hands when he walks. I miss listening to his nag. I miss putting nice clothes on him. I miss slipping in the right shoes for him. I miss hugging him. I miss his fish curry!!! I miss him. I miss Tok Bob.

Tok Bob, you are my Mom and Dad! You have completed me. You gave life to me. It's been a great honor for me to take care of you and serve you till the day you took the flight.

Lastly, goodbye my darling Tok Bob, have a safe journey......................sleep well.

SMK Sri Istana, Klang.

Yup..dat's my placement.

I don't have friends whom I mite know...Oh boy. This is going to be tough.

Plus I don't know anybody there. If I get SMK La Salle, at least there will be one or two students I mite know...Oh boy.. N the principal is still a chinese lady..I think..I think it's still Mdm Lily. But, I won't be getting that school. Cool.

I guess...hmm..I have to work hard for the best. N strive for the excellence. Cool. Darn I'm so lazy for the practicum. I don't think I can make it...teaching school children..what??

Wednesday, May 20, 2009


Today's a bad day..I woke up..miserably. Last night was a good sleep..but...

I think Tok Bob is deteriorating..again... Why???? I'm going to take him to the hospital again later. We've been to both public and private! It should be ok! It must be ok! But why??? I feel sorry for him. I wish I can feel the pain...the suffering he's struggling with. But, I can't... I really can't... Empathy does not work in this room!

His vomit was black and it was thick! It scares me to death! Now, I am sooooo beyond worried. The truth is..I'm scared. I really am. It slashes my heart to see him like that. He refused to have breakfast. He pushed me away as I gave him the pills. I understand....

Why? Why is it so hard? The hurts. This is irrevocably insane. I thought the steroids work. It did work yesterday! I am so frustrated and confused! I am helpless and I am hopeless. What a terrible morning to begin with.

I hope...No. I want him to be better! I want him to be able to walk again! I want him to sleep soundlessly! I want him to enjoy the meal! I want him to stop shaking! Hmm... I think I demand a lot....

I'm scared. I even wrote a poem "I don't have much time" for Tok Bob.... We don't have much time now... If only I can stop the hands of time, and rewind to the days when we were both happy, together. It's only a dream. A dream for me to carry on. I'll treasure those days.

Just another day of my life.....T_T

Good for now..Alhamdulillah..

Alhamdulillah...after few days struggling with few series of asthma attacks, he survives!

Surprisingly, I enjoy taking care of Tok Bob...I like preparing tea for him, I like combing his hair, I like wiping his body, I like cleaning his mess and vomit, I like talking to him loudly, I like holding his hand when we walk, I like doing things for him..bottom line is..I like taking care of him!

Now, who says taking care of elderly is such a pain in the ass? Have you washed your face today? Everyone will get old, crappy and cranky. He's 92 and I perfectly..well, maybe not perfect..but..I'm taking care of him quite well.. I understand him.. I think, taking care of sick, old people is like TEACHING... In order to teach well, a teacher must KNOW his/her students! A teacher MUST be aware of their needs...same concept is being applied with taking care of cranky old people.

Here's a story.. Not many people like Tok Bob... No wonder he doesn't get much visitors. It's ok, we are here. He could be mean to them. Not many people can stand him. I guess, that explains why the housekeeper ran away. Dang. Seriously, he is a good guy..In fact, he is a great guy! I love him, more than I love everyone else! He is like a complete set of MOM+DAD!

He is sick..well, that is expectable when you reach his age. Lately, he is suffering from severe asthma and heart problem. Not to mention his arthritis is killing him, badly. Last week, he fell off as he was performing solat maghrib. Nobody's home except me. I was panicked! I didn't know what to do..I even called Naz and Tajul..I have no idea why...

I carried him all the way to the car and rushed to the hospital. Believe it or not, I did it all by myself. I was thinking to ask help from my uncle, but..nevermind. It's not his problem. Tok Bob couldn't believe it either bcoz..I'm smaller than him..n obviously I'm light as feathers. LOL.

It has been thing leads to another. Hospital became our second home. The thing is..he refuses to stay there..He complains a lot.. That explains why I complain too much, huh. I had to take him home. There are loads of pills... Everything looks the same, especially those in white. It's darn confusing.

Oh..he's all I have at the moment. I am holding on. He is holding on. Though sometimes I can see the look on his's like..he's giving up already... I believe he's trying. I thought I had lost him.. Alhamdulillah, he has shown some improvement.

I wish to post an article about 'asthma'..Later, perhaps. At first, the pills didn't work at all. Not at all! Even the inhalerSSS didn't work. His chest was so tight. Breathing seemed to be second to impossible. The oxygen helped a bit...for a moment though. Then, the doctor has decided to jab him with steroids. First, there's no sign of improvement. The thing was supposed to show effect around 4-5 hours after injection. Nevertheless, nothing happened.

I think, 7-8 hours later, he woke up. He told us..his chest felt roomier. Finally! We were so worried. I told myself earlier today.."I need to be ready for the worst." I has been postponed. Officially. Alhamdulillah. Believe it or not, I haven't taken any meal today. I totally skipped my breakfast, lunch and dinner. I kept on having plain water... I was hungry..but...I don't know..

It's a relief for least at the moment. I don't know what tomorrow has to offer. It's a surprise. I hope, we can celebrate his 92 Birthday this October. I wish.

I'd love to thank my friends for being there with me especially Chong. Thanx to Tajul for those comforting advices. Thanx to Naz for praying his good health. Thanx to Duang for his concern..I hope everything is doing fine with his father as well. Thanx to Pie for his concern. Thanx to my lovely housemates... You r such great friends!

Alhamdulillah. Tok Bob survives this test... At least for now. I hope it'll last, insyaAllah..ameen!

Yippie. I can sleep peacefully tonight despite this running nose. Hsy...

All the best to Tok Bob. For the love of Allah, Alhamdulillah! You do listen to us! ;p

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

I don't have much time...

Time is running out...
Sins....crawl back at my door...
They knock..n keep knocking d door...

Time is running out...
Sorry...I beg for forgiveness...
Of all the mistakes and wrongdoings...

Time is running out...
Healing...I'm uncertain of it...
Not even the placebo effect...

Time is running out...
Weak...these joints r weak...
Moving seems impossible...

Time is running out...
Pills...they look d same...
White, pale blue and dark brown...

Time is running out...'s hard to swallow...
Can't even pass thru my chest...

Time is running out...
Prayers...can't stand still...
Can't even get up if I fall...

Time is running out... my new friend...
He's dark and strong, thick and slimy...

Time is running out...
Friends...they seem so distant...
I miss them, really...

then, I wake up in silence..
have this irremovable thought..
as I realize..I don't have much time.

Monday, May 18, 2009

Just another dick with no balls...'s hard to explain.

Sometimes, people prefer to say things...bad things to's human and then, our lips move, so looks like we're preaching something good...the truth's gossiping.

Gossip. As good as it sound, it is actually awful..(read the negative connotation la dude).

Anyway, as I lie down, unmoving yesterday...there was a 'friend' ranging me. Obnoxiously, he 'spitted' on his phone (the other side, his side) with..unimaginable words! I didn't even know if those words were real. Seriously folks, I didn't know (still don't know) what the heck I did wrong to him. Did I bring any harm? Hmm....dat's weird...I think I'm a peace lover.

He started by saying bad stuffs about me, my family..n some of my friends. What was that for??? Hmm, what I did distant from the phone..coz, it was horrible and loud. I could tell that his face was unhappy. I was afraid of that. We then burst into a series of argumentation.

Then I found out that this 'friend' of mine was just saying, shouting and screaming through the phone. I seriously didn't get it...why such anger? "If you are so angry with me, why don't you just punch my face or kick me on my face?" Hmm...that's what I thought. He hung up on me, immediately... Weird.

If that 'friend' of mine have issues with me, I kindly ask him to discuss or talk to me... Don't just say things without any proofs. Where did you hear those things? Did you hear it coming from my mouth? Look, as far as the line has been drawn, I have no interest of your personal life. I have no interest to walk into your room and dig in your secret. Your name has never been spoken in our 'practical gossip'. Errm..who are you again? Duh. It hurts when 'you' said those nasty shit...without me knowing where did I go wrong. For serious.

I wish he would have some guts to face me and tell me what's wrong. SCREAMING through land line won't do any good my friend. Come on, you're a man, be a man! Stop this nonsense and can you please show some degree of maturity???! You are what...23? Act your age my friend.

I hope I'll be seeing you this Thursday..for whatever reason. I'll wait for you at Pizza Hut (4.30pm), I know you didn't say 'yes' or anything, but I'll wait anyway... I just want to know what's the main issue. Seriously, I still don't get it... Is it because of the doughnuts? Or is it because of the DVDs? Hmmm....

Gosht, this huge question mark annoys me. I need answers!!!!

C you then ;p

Friday, May 15, 2009


Wow...another wow and wow..I never thought this word actually exists! Dang me, dang me...

Here's what I like to share..the word "hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia" means "the fear of long words".. I do think it's hilarious because..of its irony. How come 'the fear of long words' is spelled that long???? Seriously, I wonder which lexicographer/s registered this word in oxford dictionary...;p

Nevertheless, I found it to be fancy..I mean, the historical background of "Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia". It comes from the word 'hippopotomonstrosesquipedalian' which is an extension of 'sesquipedalian+monstrum (monster)'. It then has been cut short or truncated into 'monstrosesquipedalian' much for being truncated huh... Anyway, the misspelling of 'hippopotomo' (hippopotamus) is intended to exaggerate the length of the word itself. Then, the idea of the size of the words being feared is combined with 'phobia'...;p

Pheewww...I must's a LONnnnnnG word! 15 syllables peeps!!! Let's put it in a simpler way.. It basically means: the hippopotamus-and-monster-related fear of very long words...muahahahahahhaha...Don't be surprised that there's actually people who suffer from hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia! There's a guy in Timbuktu...He's a shoemaker and he confirmed that he's a hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobic. WOW! Can u imagine that?

All in all...I still love the word "Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious". It's my favourite word of all time! I love the meaning. It means...'atoning (agreeing) for educability through delicate beauty'...Isn't that cool??? It's a good teaching methodology though... It can also simply mean 'fantastic'. Oh, I love that...not to mention.."Mary Poppins" is one of my favourite Disney to "Beauty and the Beast"..Ahax...;p

Anyway, I'm proud to say that...I am not a hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobic! It actually fascinates me! And it's amazing how people can come out with such irony. Kudos for the lexicographers whom responsible for "hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia".


Thursday, May 14, 2009

Adam Lambert VS Kris Allen


Congrats guys... Hmmm.. it's obvious that these two guys will hit the finale stage..duh...

For some reasons, Adam Lambert still blows me away when he sang.."If I Can't Have You"... I think that's more of Etta James version..only better! Nothing much to say bout Adam..He always sets the highest bar in that show! Kudos for you Adam!!!

Kris Allen...Kris Allen...yup, that cutie.... What can I say bout him...yup..his father is...loving+caring+emotional...ahax.. His best performance to me..would be..."To Make You Feel My Love"..I still think dat's his best performance... Anyway, his version of "Heartless" is way better than the original; Kanye's.

This year's AI is nothing but GREAT! OMG..seriously, they are awesome! They are the real fruit juice! Muahahaha...Fructosely juicy and yummy...WOW

Anywho...both of you are the idols!!! All the best then...c ya next week....;p

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

FREEDOM Part 2: All about being naked...

Yeay..another free pass for me...

Been naked all day..n nite..been up and down, to the kitchen..totally naked...

This is FREEDOM! and

I'm having this strawberry+raspberry yogurt...n naked...wah, it rhymes...

Watched American Idol last nite...Adam Lambert is so gonna be the next idol! Kris Allen is cute somehow...

Talked to my friend, Pie (Firdaus) last nite...n naked.... Happy B'day dear.... jom amik IELTS same2 lpas I prac jom...

Abah called n asked what I'm up to...n I said.."I'm totally naked..n dis house is mine!"

Swept the floor dis morning..n did some cleaning...n totally naked...Sapu sapu sambil naked...muahahahaha...

Watched MTV..naked...

I changed..put on my singlet and shorts...went out for a while..bought NST, Utusan n Kosmo..costed me RM3.70... Heated the "Bubur Kacang Merah" which Kak Long and Didi gave last nite...yummy...;p Thanx Kak Long..

Typing this crap nakedly...I think it's sexy..;p

Oh, Hafriz reminded me yesterday...about sumthin..n I hate him! Thanx Hafriz! Got lost in the evening, looking for my teacher's crib...Hafriz distracted me while I was driving....haiz..

Hmm...pretty much, my day is nakedly nude! After this??? I'm expecting a 'surprise' visit..LOL...

Later? Have a date with Kak Long and Didi at Pak De's..yeay!

Tomorrow? Will crash Izzuddin's place..with Pie! Ahax...;p Ye la, orang tu da nak kawen..orang da bahagie la katekan...;p

The day after tomorrow? more freedom I guess... My bro is coming home...ayya, take ur time dear...


Haiz..its 14 May...d Mak Cik sewa rumah was supposed to pay me the rent yesterday! The deal is still 13 Mak Cik! I hate you! I hate ur family! U guys love to take advantage of my atuk's innocence!

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

This is what I call..FREEDOM

Yeay! Freedom.... I love it!

I am all alone in this house...nobody else but me...

I am totally one's home...

I think, I'll be alone till this Saturday! Yippie...

This means... DIET! Yay! Now I don't have to eat nasi anymore!

Darn, the house is ... train-wrecked..

Hmmm.. I am currently downloading..."Shindlers List", "Adaptation" and "Uncle Buck".. Heard those r great movies...

What am I going to do now... mandi?? Later....

Oh..hafto go..someone is ringing the bell.....

Friday, May 8, 2009

Today, Yesterday & Tomorrow...

Edwin, thanx for today!!!

Today? Went swimming. On our way there, I almost hit a black Myvi. He was fcuking ridiculous man! He suddenly hit the d middle of the fast lane! and I was so close, screeeetch...thank goodness Edwin was next to me..had to control my anger. Damn you! Anyway, I really had fun....and tired.... Pheewww...n it's certainly a hot day! Haiz... Sorry that u had to wait for me...

Yesterday... Hmm..what did I do yesterday? Oh yeah..fetched Haikal, went to clinic..Haikal got rashes on his hands..hmm.....then, dropped by at the last performance..the choir performance at SMK Seri Dungun...boy there were so many buses n cars... There was this school which performed "Atas Nama Cinta" and I must's unique...n harmonised...ahax...Marang grabbed trophies for both Rendah and Menengah categories! That was great! Congrats..;p Kudos for u guys!

Oh well, I am sorry that my friend, Chong did not kill the show. His group has done a good job...but..there was something missing.. I really think it's bcoz they were too exhausted. Over-practiced. Chong was not feeling well after that..n I took him to d's just fever... He said he's touched by my 'care'..ahahaha..LOL..dats funny.. I just didn't want him to fall sick..coz he still have one more paper.."Physics" to sit next week..ahaha.. get well soon Chong...cute boy..good boy..;p

Tomorrow? Hmm...haven't decided yet... Maybe I'll just go and visit Tok and Tokki at Pak De's house... Go buy some stuffs perhaps...Giant and Mydin...hmm..what else.... maybe I'll drop by at UiTM Dungun for a while..just wanna see Sae...he just finished his exam today...


Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Of I need somebody to..., Stepmom, Beranak Dalam Kubur, Tali Pocong Perawan, Choir practice & Haikal...

Hmm..I have been wondering, who would like to go swimming with me dis Friday? Pleaseeee... I promise, it would be fun... *wink wink*... I need somebody to accompany me this Friday so I won't humiliate myself like last week...;p

I am afraid of serial killers. Seriously. Serial killers can size up the most vulnerable in a matter of seconds. What the heck?'s like they can see when we are at our lowest, our most vulnerable moments, then they circle and wait until just the right moment to take advantage of us... I think someone is watching me... I need somebody to sleep with me too... gee, that's weird...

Someone texted me yesterday as I changed the TU220's starter...which costed me RM180. He/she said that he/she is my enemy. Silly...I never thought I have enemy...(ies)...the number starts with 013..n bla bla bla... I think it's Randy from N9... But, maybe I was wrong. It's frustrating..n not to mention dat it's freakin annoying... Don't you have anything better to do? What are u...12???

Anyway, I 'accidentally' watched "Stepmom" (TV2) just now... What I can say is...KUDOS! It is a great movie... Julia Roberts starred in it... Wow... I love it is not biased against the Mom's POV and the Stepmom's POV.... I think it is relatable to me..I life, what I have gone through.... I wish I have two strong mothers to see my progress as I grow up... oh well... life's not a fairy tale, wake up niza! By the way, Happy Mothers Day to all mothers in the world! Miss you Mama.

This evening? Hmmm.... I watched "Beranak Dalam Kubur" and...damn, I hate the audio... It gave me goosebumps...n the idea was there.... I guess...I'm a chicken even tho the fact is..I'm a goat...or maybe half-goat...n half-human. I'm a horny goat. Really. I admit..I am a coward.. I watched it alone..n I screamed a little... scareee tho.. I'd love to see Ekhwan's expression when he watch it! Wait my friend, wait.

Last week, I watched "Tali Pocong Perawan" and the accident happened again. Only this time, it's "Mee Sup". Damn it's scary.... n creepy.. I hate when a ghost movie uses the "Mayat" or wrapped-corpse as the ghost... It's like..LIVING POCONG! With the "kain kapan" and the grave-digging action...spooky...You kno the taboos with us Muslims..'selisih malaikat whatever number it is'... I really don't get it why they have to 'touch' the "mayat" when he/she has already been dead???? Rubbish... there was a part where I accidentally 'spilled' my mee sup. Silly me! Oh, oh...the ending was awesome tho! Makes me wonder....the purity of a "pocong" on the rooftop... if only Malaysian ghost movies can be like that... Ok, enough with the crappy, ghost movie obsession..wooosh...back to reality! Ting ting... I need somebody to sleep with me tonight...don't wanna peek at the window....grrrrr...

Chong is busy with his choir practices..I have been with him...through his rehearsals..which cost him (including me) 5 hours per day...if you don't win, it'll be such a waste... The worse part is..I need to report to the Guards everytime I drive in..n join the thingy... The worst part is.. I can't come to the final...coz it's out of my coverage.. I am sorry...but he promised to record it for me! Yippie...ur d best! ;p

That's all for now..Haikal is coming home tomorrow..kinda miss him already... Actually, I miss the textbooks...ahahahahaha... Gonna bring him to d clinic..there's something wrong with him.... I certainly hope there's nothing bad about it....


Nity nite..;p

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Sambutan Kemerdekaan...

Yippie! I know, I know... It's just May. But I am happy though...

I am happy as the government has decided not to organize any concerts or soksek2 about "Sambutan Kemerdekaan" this least, they will control... So there will be some mini celebration or something..I dunno...we'll see..;p

I am not sure on how far this will work, but knowing that there will be no major concerts like what were previously done, it makes me happy. Not that I disapprove the countdown or anything...I am just not in favor of such stuff. It is just a reminder..we are not the fighters...we are the youngsters...

Nevertheless, we know the fact when the government say something or draw some policy, they are just saying it, right?! So, I bet..there will be stuffs like..errmmm...concerts...heboh2 or kecoh2 whatever thingy... Oh trust me, there will be... We're Malaysian, man... That's what we do! Haha..;p

Again, it is not that I have grudge or unfinished business with the government or something... The thing is...our Bulan Kemerdekaan will be during Ramadhan. Thus, I don't think..those concerts or u name it..whatever sambutan..etc n bla bla bla...muhibbah kemerdekaan and whatever craps... are appropriate.

At least, it'll give us some peace.... n less worrying about the nafsu of going to those thingy. Hmm.. The idea was's just how effective it will be.... right?!

What we can do and see... and me? I am just playing a minute part in these scheme. Maybe you can change something...all the best for that...;p Good luck then..;p


Sunday, May 3, 2009


Just now, there was a major blackout at my neighbourhood. I heard there was a cable burned somewhere in Pulau Serai... That's kinda far from my place.. oh well... Nevertheless, we had a romantic dinner.. Candle light dinner to be exact... Cute.

Then, I started to...
This is what I found after I 'korek-korek' my abah's stuffs... Ahax.. I guess, this is how they make INTEREST from our INTEREST..bankers like to bake our money...ahahahaha....

Interest can be defined as:

a) Extra money EARNED when certain amount of money is INVESTED / DEPOSITED

b) Extra money PAID when certain amount of money is BORROWED.

Islamic banking system vs. Secular banking system:

The major difference:-

Islamic banking system is based on the PROFIT SHARING method (which is calculated based on the ACTUAL PERFORMANCE of the bank), whereas the Secular banking system is based on the FIXED INTEREST RATE (which is calculated based on the PREDICTION PERFORMANCE).

Basically there r two types of interest:

a) Simple interest

[ I = P r t ]
I : simple interest
P : principal/original amount of money borrowed or invested
r : interest rate per year
t : term or period in years

b) Compound interest

Loan. Sometimes the time period of a loan is indicated by the beginning date and the due date. In the calculation of number of days between the two given dates, we have two concepts:

1. EXACT TIME - it is the exact number of days between two given dates.
2. Approximate time - it assumes a month has 30 days.

If the time period of the loan is in term of days, then using simple interest formula requires that the rate ALSO be expressed as a rate per day.

I = P r t

1. Ordinary simple interest by using

t = given numbers of days / 360

2. Exact simple interest by using

t = given number of days / 365 or 366 days

FOUR METHODS for computing simple interest:

a) exact time and ordinary simple interest - also called 'BANKER'S RULE'
b) exact time and exact simple interest
c) approximate time and ordinary simple interest
d) approximate time and exact simple interest


Previously, we studied about the simple interest where interest is earned from the original principal and computed only once. Alternatively, the interest can be compounded. In compounding, we calculate the interest periodically over the borrowing money and add it to the principal. The adjusted principal (old principal plus interest) then becomes the principal for the next calculation of interest.

This process of adding interest to the principal before interest is calculated for the next period is called compounding interest. In compounding interest, we say that, 'we earn interest on our interest'.

The final sum at the end of the borrowing period is called the COMPOUND AMOUNT. Therefore, COMPOUND INTEREST is the difference between the original principle and the compound amount.

Terms for understanding compound interest:
a) Original principle (P) : The beginning value of loan or investment.
b) Frequency of conversions (m) : The number of times interest is calculated in a year.
c) Interest period : Length of time in which interest is calculated. The period for computing interest is usually at regularly stated intervals such as annually, semiannually, quarterly or monthly.
- Compounded annually : interest calculated on balance once a year.
- Compounded semiannually : interest calculated on balance every 6 months.
- Compounded quarterly : interest calculated on balance every 3 months.
- Compounded monthly : interest calculated on balance monthly.

d) Nominal interest rate (j) : The stated annual interest rate.
e) Rate per interest period (i) : Nominal interest rate divided by frequency of conversions.
i = j / m

f) Total number of interest (n) : Number of times interest is calculated during the term of the loan or investment. Given number of years times frequence of conversions.
n = t X m

...and then there r calculations for Compound Amount (Future Value) and Present Value. It's kinda complicated tho..haha...

This subject INTERESTS me! tettt...

The truth is..I am bored..kuang3..


Saturday, May 2, 2009

I'll stop dis nonsense!, I wont bother you..YOU ARE ALREADY DEAD TO ME!

Damn..I hate obsession...! Look at me..I'm dying of heartbreak.. Finally! ..yippie! Kudos for me! Now, everyone's gonna start talkin bout it again..ayya... silly me..

I squinted my eyes as I looked at the bright sun...crazeee... The sweat was worthless.. I was such an idiot... I wish I knew the fact earlier.. I thought I am a smart boy...ahahahaha... silly me... Those GPAs don't count here..ahahaha..

He glimpsed at me as I chewed the gum... "No!" That's what he said..ahahaha.. I should have known. I even window-peeked at his crib while he's away... what is f*****g wrong with me? The guy at the police station told me once..that I am such a pain in d ass...yeah..I am... I really am. Don't worry F, I'll stop immediately this nonsense..I won't disturb you anymore.. I my words!

Is it because of the fact that I'm this way? Is it because of my fights with them? Is it? I personally think that it must have been hell to live in a town where everyone knows that I killed myself and my young crush years ago! The truth can be such a lie! You don't know the truth!!! You know nothing about me! Maybe just a portion. Maybe I just like fighting...rebel against myself..of who I am suppose to be!

She? The one I really trusted...hmm...She folded her arms beneath her breasts and looked up into the darkening outline of my face..(I am not that old am I?). She can't be trusted!!!! Fake smiles with lyrical lies... I hate her!!! Now, I am laughing without humor! She probably hates me too... She bits her thumbnail for goodness sake!!!

Benci or cinta??? Now, when you are the only girl I am seeing...or used to...I have to move on. You'll have to move on! I am definitely sure we are all interchangeable! Or maybe not... I DON'T! I am just saying that I am sure we are all the same in the dark! I mite not be the guy you expect me to be..but I am still a guy!

This is harder than I thought it would be..hmm... It seems fair though..she's just trying to make me mad. Maybe she did not want to think about what she did... Don't worry. I'll be a good boy.. I'll keep ur secrets.. I'll keep ur dark box in my head. I don't wana tell them who you really are.. Coz..u wanna kno y? You are already dead to me. You died in my I have to move on... I can stand it... I am standing tall afterall.. I really can!

Even though she has ripped my heart from my chest.. I still can breathe. And I am walking tall...ahahahaha... I will never regret about me being myself, telling you the truth. The least I would hope was 'trusting' you... The only thing I regret is US... Hahahaha... I loveD you.. Honestly..that is not a lie. Fullstop.

I have to go now..Thank you for everything. I really appreciate it. Thanx..

I love you, goodbye.

Owh, That is Celine's...;p


(I'll fly a kitten who has nothing to count on..)

Friday, May 1, 2009

Swimming and watering R embarrasing!!! Maluuuuu...

First of all, this goes to Mr. Z: It's ok dat you can't come biggy... I understand.. Don't take it hard on urself...

Ok. Went swimming Awana...da naik fee dy..I remember goin there with the fee is RM20...oh well..;p

Met Edwin there..he invited me to stay till tho...maybe I'll come again next week...nice place....;p

It's comfy there...I's ok..considered as cheap...kinda like it tho....

Jeng jeng jeng..If there was a place to hide, I would consider hiding...tadaaa...suddenly met my friends...darn..that was embarrasing...both of us (Edwin & I) were slightly 'naked'...except with spedos...ahahahaha...isy, what a day...I was enjoying my day..that's all...Seriously...biaq pi la kat hangpa..(yeah rite) ;p

I've been there from 3.30pm till...I don't kno...time was crawling so fast...hmm...crawling quicker than d way I walk...hmm..;p

Sorry guys for that 'spreading' and 'wiping' in 'slow-up-and-down motion'...I really's embarassing! I don't wanna talk about it..oh, we will talk..I'll c u guys around!

Not to mention I was not on my peak performance yesterday...oh well, it's been a while since my last swim. I wish I was invisible...and had a thicker layer of 'coolness'...isy, malunye...act cool, act cool niza! control...;p

Edwin? Owh. He just stood there with his hands sticking straight out from my waist..aiyya..."You owe me Edwin!" He even said.."Hey, we look like some kinda prom escapees.." What's dat suppose to mean? I was not trying to run away from my friends..I just needed to cover....errrmmmm...nothing...there was too much skin to show..n I was not ok with that..(yeah rite)

I swear that my friends were staring at a long couch facing us in front of the TV! And we were the TV! They really looked like sofas, especially Bob who's a little roomier than Zelan, Syah, 'Ain and Tini! Ahax...I'm sorry for not telling you guys about the plan... How on earth did you guys know I was there? I bet u guys don't wana go out wit me after dis...;( blek..

Then...the breeze blew a few long strands of hair across Edwin's cheek and...I stupidly raised a hand and brushed them off from his face? What else do u need to make a complete scandal? Damn...HE IS JUST MY FRIEND! Sumpah!!!! ;p

I asked my friends.."Bakpe sengeh2 gitu? (What r u smiling at?)". They just shrugged their shoulders. Yeah right..something was going on inside their brains! I told them there's nothing..absolutely nothing going on with us...we're just friends! And they were like...scoffing and mocking at me...damn you guys! We will talk OK! This is not over yet..The thing is..I was not avoiding..I was just...embarrased...I bet my face was reddishly red than ever...

Now..I have to explain myself...on lotsa things...haiz....What a day..what a day...But I enjoyed myself..yeah..I think they could tell as well...too much of water splashing, "splash splush splush" what?? It was hot n steamy's Friday! Sunny Friday..I love my friends! but..I am still shy...ayya...malu malu...;p

Thank you Edwin..that was such a nice day....n nice swimming...I can never compete with you...You were like..Michael Phelps...(like what Paula Abdul said to Adam Lambert). Rematch? No thanx..*wink wink*

So, will there be next week? Maybe.. Then I hafto invite my pranky friends as well...oh boy...this is gonna b so much fun..I wish..I wish...;p

I love you guys!!! Everyone! I mean to say that...;p

C ya round Mr. Bloggy..

p/s - Edwin's Ganu accent was funny tho...ahax.."Kejut saye.." ;p





This mark on my neck...

Troubles me...

Stop questioning...

It's history...his story!

I hate you...