Sunday, August 31, 2008

YES, I DO!!!

Just so you know..I am trying my best to be loyal here! I really appreciate that you want to be there for me...and...I have the answer for your question... YES, I do! I do... I will try my best to change and I need your help to hold my hand, walking on the right path! I am so happy. You can trust me, count on my words! I really am trying my best to be there for you. I am glad that I'm finally free from the burden of becoming a toy. Thank you! I really do and the answer is YES! I dedicate us this song...

Baby Face - Drama, Love, Relationships

Its not about whose right, or whose wrong
Its not about whose weaker, or whose strong
Its not about whose innocent, or whose fault
It ain't really about that kind of thing at all
Its not about who does it, who done it, or did it to who
Don't matter if the both of you lose
Its really not about nothing, except for me and you

Its all about drama, and love, and relationships
And when the going gets tough, you deal with it
And you don't ever, you never walk away from it
You hold on, and be strong
Its all about drama, and trust, and making it
If your somebody, mess up, you take it in
Don't let nobody come between you, you just stay with it
And hold on and be strong
And hold on

Its not about the stupid things that we say
We're always saying stupid things anyway
Its not about the secrecy or the lies
Girl everybody's got a secret to hide
Its not about who was it, or was she, whose creeping on who
Wont matter if the both of us lose
Its really not about nothing, except for me and you

Its all about drama, and love, and relationships
And when the going gets tough, you deal with it
And you don't ever, you never walk away from it
You hold on, and be strong
Its all about drama, and trust, and making it
If your somebody, mess up, you take it in
Don't let nobody come between you you just stay with it
And hold on and be strong
And Hold on

Ain't about your pride
Ain't about yourself
Its about the two of you, and no one else
Ain't about the hurt
Ain't about the lies
Ain't about the crazy things that's running through your mind
Its about the love thats suppose to last and never die

Its all about drama, and love, and relationships
And when the going gets tough, you deal with it
And you don't ever, you never walk away from it
You hold on, and be strong
Its all about drama, and trust, and making it
If your somebody, mess up, you take it in
Don't let nobody come between you, you just stay with it
And hold on and be strong
And Hold on

Repeat Chorus

This is our theme song as we freshly starts this love. I must say thank you for not leaving me aside. Thank you for being there for me! I love you. I do.

Friday, August 29, 2008

What is wrong with him???

The hitch is dedicated to two different people. The first dilemma is...he has been 'cold' lately. I cannot blame the rain for augmenting the bitter and frosty mood in him but...I have no idea what is happening to us. The truth is, I don't know where this road is leading us. I don't see any significance of walking through the alley when it leads us to nowhere. NOWHERE! Where are we standing? I need to know. I need to know. I ended up questioning myself "Did I do any wrong to him?", "What went wrong?"...Then I have to open my eyes....ample enough to realize that I am just a TOY. WAKE UP LITTLE TOY! I don't deserve to issue any uncertainty to him. Nevertheless, it hurts a little to see how he mistreats his toy. Avoidance is not the accurate choice of word. It is the act of rejection that hurts the soul of my pretentious heart. As a toy, I will prepare myself for the beginning of my self destruction. The world is turning upside down. The lake poured with rain last night is dry. No more rainy days on my sunny weeks! No more free gift for you! Seriously, what is wrong with you?

Second is dedicated to an unknown guy who owns this number...+6019207860X...what is wrong with you? I hate to say this but, you are jolting me down! Why do you keep asking me to go out with you??? Why do you still call me after I have said NO? Why are you pushing me this way? I don't need someone to preach the *F* striking remark to me! Stop calling me please. I am begging you. I have a life to catch on. The past is the past, let us move on. You have became an unknown to me. I don't know you anymore. I am sorry but I just don't have the guts to wreck your blissful yacht before. I am sorry for being weak before. However, that was then. You cannot manipulate my life anymore! Is it wrong if I politely say NO to him??? Yet, I got a big 'EFF ' on my forehead! Seriously, what is wrong with him?

What a turn off to my beautiful sunny day. Well, today is just another day....I gravely need to find my voice afterwards!!!!

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

I'm beginning to love her!

I think I am seriously in love with her. I think I am. I feel that I am free to laugh whenever she's around. I am not really a person who counts on miracle to change things around me..but...I do believe that miracle does exist! Since she's 'home', everyone is happy. Everyone seems to free themselves from the burden they are carrying on their shoulder. She puts smiles and laughter at home. She surprises me with her 'tiny', little jokes. Ahahaha. I hope she will become a good sister later on. To me, she is somehow a great miracle in my family.. Her name is Alyaa Jasmine.

Friday, August 22, 2008

Happy! Happy! Happy!

Yay...You're finally make me're finally make me happy! Waduh..Macy Gray's version siot..anyway..I am should you! Happy birthday to those who are celebrating their birthdays..Happy anniversary to those who are in the mood! Happy enjoying your best moments peeeps! Happy cherishing your love peeps!..

As for me, I am celebrating a new phase in my life. A changing phase. Nope, not because I'm old. That's silly. I'm not old, am I? Well, you know what they say; growing old is mandatory but growing up is optional! Ahhahahaha. I just don't know hot to organize things in words. I am just too happy now!

I have everything in life at the moment. I have a loving family. I have a lovely friendship...(gee, that sounds rather gay and awkward). I have THEM...the verangan troop..I have my brothers and a sister now. I have had nice and sumptuous fiest for days now. I have washed my car. I have cleaned my house. I have touched my sociology textbook. Oh..I even have the sweetest message tone in my phone...Oh, that is just so sweet. Bottom line is, I am happy.

Hmm...I don't know how to say this, but I am happy...Perhaps, a rapid change turns me into a crazy banana hemmock. Ahahahahaha, bananahemmock?...What on earth is that?Oh ya..its male spedo or bikini if I am not mistaken...Oh Pheobe is hilarious. She tought me that word. F.R.I.E.N.D.S.. Happy day to everyone!!! I simply declare myself as a loving creature today onwards! I love everyone! Thank you for everything!!!

p/s-Dear tuut tuut tuut who claims as a loving mistery, I appreciate that you've read my craps so far..but please don't leave your comment in my friendster and you don't have to sms me dear...Anyway, thanx..I love you too!

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

No comment.

It is the safest answer to avoid things. Today I learned the harshest word in my life so far.. It was "fungus"..??? Any idea what it is? Any idea what it does? Fungus sucks the happiest moments in people's lives. Fungus ruins people's lives. Fungus is the 'jijik-est' thing in life. Gee, I wonder where he learned his biology. When someone pointed at me today and told me that I was like some sort of fungus, I...emm..I was surprisingly shocked!

Why would you say that 'dude'? He said; "You came this far and the best you can do is to steal my boyfriend???"...Then I said.."Excuse me? I don't even know who's your bf for the love of God! And I don't even know you!"...Seriously I look that gay to you? Damn!... To whoeva spilled the rumors, life is fair and it is full with series of unfortunate action. You know where to find me dear.

What a terrifying day for me. I had a party with some friends. I was thinking to find peace, just for a little while..but... What goes up will comes down. Sooner or later, everybody will know the truth. The similarity between OIL and TRUTH is : THEY BOTH FLOAT IN THE END! To my friends who backed me up just now, thank you.

I am sorry to ruin your nights gentlemen. Come to think of it, I should have said "No comment". Oh well, its just an itsy bitsy tiny winnie problem I'm facing today. Its nothing compared to WWI and WWII...though I got 'splashed' with sticky, slimy drinks on my shirt. Come on la, fight like a real man will you...if its true that I grabbed your bf, may I ask...where is he???

He was not even there for heaven sake! That 'dude' warned me to stay out of their life when I really think that THEY have nothing to do with my life! How weird is that???

Lastly, no comment. Fullstop.

Sunday, August 17, 2008

Mind your own business!

In this life so far..hmmm..let's check..its been almost 21 years, I have made so many bad decisions. I am a bad person after all. I believe there is still goodness inside me. I strongly believe that. My dad says, "Once you start believing, there's nothing you can't do!"...Somehow, there are still many things I cannot reach in my life. It is beyond my capability.

I have a friend who claims he knows everything. I once thought he knows everything. Gee...when I am around him, I feel like I am the least knowing person on earth. But, I finished reading a book today...and what makes me believe that I am not the least knowing boy on earth are the words from the book. It clearly makes sense, by relating to this life. "No one knows less than the one who knows it all!" Well, I can say that I know everything can you people!

I care about things around me! I do care. It is harsh of you to say that I am careless! Kudos for you then for caring and showing your affection on me! Thanks. That really means something to me. Dear mister know-it-all, if I don't care where I am going, any road will get me there! So I don't need to worry on slipping off right because I'll sure get there in the end?! Who agrees?

Thank you for your time dear. Thank you for trying to make it right. I really appreciate your effort. Now I know who I am. Thanks for clarifying things dear! I guess, you do know everything huh..I will try my best to change OK! Will do, don't worry. Hey, I know I am loveless. I know how people hate me. I know I am lonely as compared to you. I know I am full with sins, do you have to stress on that? I know you were talking ghastly about me. I know that too. Zip it. Bottom line is, I know what bothers you. I know you are scared of losing the game dear. I know you are afraid of falling down the drain. Hey, guess what...You are not the only one who knows it all after all.

Seriously, don't you have better things to do beside poking my nose and make me fall so you can unzip my pants and see what colors of undies I am wearing today??? You need a life dear. Get a life. You call yourself a failure. Hell, I don't really care. Is that even my crisis? Let me tell you something dear. People don't fail, they give up!!!! I guess, we are all the same. One thing that discern us is...I don't care on your personal business. I don't care on your 'impeccable' attitude. I don't care if your plastic make up is thicker than mine. I don't care even if you are not faking your smile. I just don't care. My advice is...stay out of my personal life!!! I don't need a 'perfect' guy like you to tell me what to do and what not to do. I am out from your losing game.

Thank you in advance dear.

XOXO, mind your own business!

Saturday, August 16, 2008

I'm happy and I need a BREAK!

Today, I declare myself as being the happiest me so far. At least that's what I like to think, for now..ahahaha.. I had such tremendous and blissful moments last night. I was so happy. Though, I realize it is not for long, but I am happy. I was touched by the act of loving, the art of speaking in lust. Bawanun, be happy ok!

"To accomplish great things, we must not only act, but also dream; not only plan, but also believe." That's what Toby Reynolds says. I did that and trust me, it is not always fun. Hoping can be tedious and tiring. Believing is painful because you set what you want to see, and it can be messy some time.How I wish to break free sometimes. Run away from this plastic life.Just run away with that person. Skip this lunatic life for a while.Will you hold my hand, Bawanun?

I guess, I'm happy that I couldn't write any reasonable facts today. I need a break..perhaps I wont be online for a while, just to find peace..somewhere at the beaches...with that person maybe...or not...I am happy but I need a break out of this tiredness. I'm soaking wet with fake love already. At least, that keeps me awake for now.People judge, that's what they do BEST. Please, if you are not happy, fine happiness though it's fake..just to keep you in sanity for a while. Pull yourself together and let us walk at the beach...

Bawanun...such an adorable name and figure. Hmmm...I'm tired, I'm tired, I'm tired!

Tuesday, August 12, 2008


I am here because of you!


Those lyrics are deeply beautiful. We must remember the sacrifice, the pain, the hunger that our elders have gone through. Where are we now? This is not prejudice. This a plot for our funeral. Education is the key for survival! It is because of us, who easily forget and lose ourselves in our own country, that the peeps start to claim their rights! Sincerely ask yourself, where is OUR right??? Do we have any though it seems like we have one?! Still, we are way behind them...even when we are claimed as majority!!!! Wake up guys..please wake up!!! I am just a minute voice to wake us ALL...Stop stabbing each other! Stop this hatred! Stop this hidden scheme! Defend our one and only UiTM! One question before I mute myself...HAVE YOU WASHED YOUR FACE TODAY????

....................~fiNDiNg a VoiCe~

Monday, August 11, 2008

Karma Chameleon

Life is full of karma's action. There are times when I am on the top, there are times when I'm at the lowest point of the wheel. That is life. Reflecting to the song by Culture Club, I'm officially valuing the meaning behind that. U cum n go U cum n go... Desert loving in your eyes all the way. If I listen to your lies would you say. I'm a man without conviction. I'm a man who doesn't know how to sell a contradiction. You come and go. You come and go. Loving would be easy if your colors were like my dream. Red, gold and green.

I guess all I want to say here is I'm not your enemy. What will it take for me to make you see that I’m not your enemy?! I’m not like the others so don’t fight it anymore! Please. I am tired of this game...because I lose all the time! Every time I leave, I keep coming back even though its my 110 times already. I'm relapsing myself I guess. I guess it's karma. I did this to people back then and now, it's happening to me. It is happening. Oh, I should have seen this coming right in front of my face! Serves me right I guess. Time is running out. My battery is running low. My attention span level is about 24.2% at the moment. I have 47.5 loves left in my life account. I am not good in math, perhaps you should do the calculation on my love life. Sucks I guess.

No matter how far I run, I keep running in circle and I am still at the same spot I left 22 seconds ago. No matter how fast I run, I keep my speed at the lowest rate I can get, so far. I guess I am tired of running now. I want to stop running. I think I am ready to stop running. No doubt anymore. I'll stop. Full stop

Saturday, August 9, 2008

He bit me!

Oh, what a day, yet I still have 44% to go for tonight. Tired, tired, tired. Sleepless since last two days. Nevertheless, kudos to Liyana, Aimi and Tajul for your effortless commitment. U guys rock! Hmmm...last night was quite a bomb for us. The voice talent was OK I guess, though I was a bit upset that Wawan didn't make it for the first three. Oh what the heck, you are still the best to some of us...I must say Hafriz was dashingly impressing under the spot light! Sway me..oh yeah. You were great, great control I must say! Wow! Congratulation Hafriz! Bile nak blanje, penat pom pom kat blakang smalam!? Oh before that..I forgot to mention...that I met the junior...he stalked me from aside. He made a call and asked me to do this and that while he just watched it from afar. Notty. That was a junior from Asasi TESL...and I did meet a junior from Link program, yup, on the same day...He offered me some snack while I was selling things to customers..hoho..he was nice by the way. That was yesterday...oh yeah, I had too much NASI yesterday..'bang' goes my diet...

Today..hmm...started off with aerobic dances and 'poco-poco' dance...oh, I missed that part, by the way. I slept too late last night. I had to force myself, meeting a stranger outside. Got home a bit late than usual. Nevermind. I helped Liyana at the booth around 8.50am I guess. Kesian kat Liyana!!! She's been so committed and deeply motivated. Pheeww...there were so many people this morning. School students, mostly...all Vitagens were sold...cleanly swooshed by them. Oh, I managed to sell the Faculty,s Neck Strap to Miss Afni and her sister, Mdm Norsi and Puan Zuraida..hoho...We packed off everything after lunch. No more sale! We had to be at the Great Hall by 3pm. While 'cleaning' the spot, we had so much fun. I wore Baju Kurung for the first time of my life! Oh my goodness. What a wham!I can tell that Nazri hates it so much. Sorry Naz!...Hoho...silly me! We sang songs...hell I have no idea where's that coming from. Dangdut a little. Goyang-goyang a bit. I was singing out of tune (since when that I'm not, kui kui)...then, he came and hugged me...real tight. Oh I missed that. Opsie. Tumpang lalu. Muahahahaha...that's not just it. He bit me! He bit me! He bit me, finally..Sounds crazy, but its true...(though it did feel nice! to say feels like some kind of, appreciation!) People found it disgusting but...I don't really mind. That's ok. Hehe. Yummy...delicious...scrumptious. For about one second and half, I felt alive and appreciated. Kinda like it though...hoho..don't blame me for that..sue me, sue me, sue me, not him...Thanx dear for THAT treat!

"If you need help, don't be afraid to ask! If you need a kiss, don't be afraid to touch!..."I hope someone still remember this.. Hehe... Then, we headed to the Hall. There were some peeps there. Oh it was tiring. Then I drove Liyana's car to throw some stinky packages from our 'Lelong's'...smells like rotten fish.hehe..but Hafriz and I threw them away already, Liyana! No sweat. Soon after that, I headed back to the Hall and I saw Aimi and Tajul were waiting to go home. That's when I realized that I am writing this crap while I think what happened next..(huh????)

Therefore....(to be continued)

>>c ya tonight at the Hall peeps!

Monday, August 4, 2008

Mama needs a new pair of shoes!

Kung may problema ka, sabihin mo sa akin, ako si niza syazre!


Two bowling teams, one all blondes, one all bruneettes, charter a double-decker bus for a weekend bowling tournament in Atlantic City.
The brunette team rides on the bottom level of the bus, the blonde team rides on the top level.
The brunette team, down below, is wooping it up and having a great time until one of them realizes she doesn't hear anything from the blondes upstairs, and she decides to investigate.
When the brunette reaches the top, she finds the blonde team staring straight ahead at the road, frozen in fear, clutching the seats in front of them with white knuckles. They are wholly terrified.
"Whats going on up here?" asks the brunette. "We're having a great time downstairs!"
"Yeah," screams a terrified blonde, "but you've got a driver!"



A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking.

After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle" attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, "Maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price!"

Determined, the blonde turned and headed for the swamps, set on catching herself an alligator. Later in the day, the shopkeeper is driving home, when he spots the young woman standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand. Just then, he sees a huge 9 foot alligator swimming quickly toward her.

She takes aim, kills the creature and with a great deal of effort hauls it on to the swamp bank. Lying nearby were several more of the dead creatures. The shopkeeper watches in amazement.

Just then the blonde flips the alligator on its back, and frustrated, shouts out, "Darn it, this one isn't wearing any shoes either!"



A blonde chick found herself sitting next to a lawyer on an airplane. Bored, the lawyer kept bugging the blonde wanting her to play a game of intelligence (lawyers like easy prey). Finally, the lawyer offered her 10 to 1 odds, said every time the blonde could not answer one of his questions she owed him $5, but every time he could not answer hers he’d give her $50.00. The lawyer figured he could not lose, and the blonde reluctantly accepted.

The lawyer first asked, “What is the distance between the Earth and the nearest star?” Without saying a word the blonde handed him $5.

The blonde then asked, “What goes up a hill with 3 legs and comes back down the hill with 4 legs?”

The lawyer looked puzzled. He spent nearly an hour, looking up everything he could on his laptop and even placing numerous air-to-ground phone calls, trying to find the answer. Finally, angry and frustrated, he gave up and paid the blonde $50.00

The blonde put the $50 into her purse without comment, but the lawyer insisted, “What is the answer to your question?”

Without saying a word, the blonde handed him $5.



A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he's doing a show in a small club in a small town in Arkansas. With his dummy on his knee, he's going through his usual dumb blonde jokes when a blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and starts shouting: ''I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does the color of a person's hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community and from reaching our full potential as a person, because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against, not only blondes, but women in general...and all in the name of humor!''

The ventriloquist is embarrassed and begins to apologize, when the blonde yells, ''You stay out of this, mister! I'm talking to that little jerk on your knee!''

Have fun guys! MMMMbbekkk....

Finding a voice....

Credibility gap? What on earth is that? Is this one of the issues that bloggers have to face? Well, I admit that bloggers can be listed down to those with good intentions and those who do not. Thats HUMAN, I would simply say. And what is the big fuss with hiding behind the cyber curtain? I personally think it is individual rights to express their thoughts, be it publicly or hiding behind kain sarong When I read about the credibility gap in government sectors..I think the gap is getting wider by days. Globalisation is hitting us with new terminologies each days. Technology is enhanced by minutes. Information is updated by seconds. Zup zap zip! zooooomm...those who do not wish to catch the flight, he is a loser in advance...I have mentioned this before, that I am just a minute voice in this whole scheme. I somehow feel the world we live in today is just built on some scams. By means, there are certain parties which benefit from the scheme itself. I know it sounds absurd. However, it is perfectly planned by human on such 'humanity' basis to create a better world. Seriously, where are we today??? Do we sound OK? Check your sound system for instance. Nowadays, being literate in education means they just have the ticket to ride the fair. When its done, the ticket is expired in use and those who claim as 'educated' can only watch others ride it from aside. Money is still the voice people!!! When I shout MONEY, its real money that I am making fuss of. Its as if money buys everything! Where is the rationale? Where are those literate men? Hiding in Gua Niah, I presume? Why is there so many flaws in our education system? Orang dalam? What a capital 'F' for that... democracy in education? Dipshit... Politics in education? CoRRupt hang! Money! Money! Money! I am too lazy to care I guess, but I cannot simply say I could not care less! I care! Seriously, I do..then again, I am just a minute voice in this scheme. Whether I contribute to this 'justice' system or not, I have no I said, I am a minute part of the scheme. Involuntarily involved. Oh the gOat is tired, thinking of all craps, created by him! The hell with those scams! The hell with those educated me a lackadaisically challenged gOat! Call me irresponsible today! I am just scraping dirt from my village despite this horniness. Credibility gap??? Just one question folks, have you washed your face today? WHERE IS MY VOICE?? MMMBBEKK...(its been muted by the scams)......

-signed out-

Saturday, August 2, 2008

Happy B'day My Besh Fren Ekhwan!

HaPPy BirtHday Ekhwan!!! U simply rock DUDE! The coolest n finest dude ever! Thanx for everythin! I wish u to b happy n blessed with blissfulness in ur life! Have fun workin and...take a good care of urself! Thanx for always be there for me, thru my ups and down! Ur the best!
Happy Birthday Ekhwan! The Ver's......................

Apart from that, Aimi, Tajul, Ekhwan and I had a splendid day today! It's fun! First, I woke up miserably at 8.15am....We headed, drove by Ms Aimi to Ekhwan's new 'sangkar' at Ampang. Then, we headed to KLCC for PC Fair. Gosht, its #$%@*&% BLEEP crowded! It's hot.. Due to our dying hunger, we ran to the food court and had lunch. I had the most undelectable Laksa
ever! 'YUMMY'. Then we went to Kinokunya for some readings. I've read 12 chapters of "James Patterson, You've Been Warned"'s truly FANTASTICO! Reding is so much fun with Pattersons'. Kudos for him! Thrilling!

Soon afterwards, we moved to the convention centre for the PC FAIR...It's such a scorching, yet steamy day for me! Hot! Hot! Hot! We walked from one hall to another...I would say, going to the Sound System's Hall (where they displayed all sorts of speakers, woofers, boom boom boom, bam, bam, bam, tung, tung, tung etc.) made me a hearing-impaired boy for about two minutes and 22 seconds..Then, we rested under a shallow yet not so shallow tree near the lake...We had little 'amusement' and joy there. We snapped dozens of pics. Snap, snap, snap..oh that was fun...

Then, there was a guy, his name is Kevin if my brain still works well. He said he wanted to meet me today. I said..ok..I'm at KLCC..cum here then. He did come. He went to the fair too. I'm sorry for him, up till now(still feeling sorry) for making him look for me all over the place. I was just under the tree..but exactly, which tree? There are so many trees, be it S, M, L or XL.. Hahahahaha...that was funny..he had mistaken me with another boy who wore pretty much the same as me. Then we met at the Starbucks. Chatted a little. A gist of this and that. He hugged me a little. And I hugged him back. He held my hand. Sweat a little. Weird. But dats ok. However, the oddest thing was...he asked me to move in with him. How is that possible when I always busy with classes during weekdays??? Hmmm....overall, he is a sweet guy. Hehe.

Right after that, we continued our journey to Midvalley. Got a plan to celebrate Ekhwan's birthday. How sad that Aimi could not join this time. The show must go on. We looked for our girl friends around. There were Syuhada, Norini, Masitah, Adelin, Haridah etc etc..o ya..with Muizz, Fauzul and Ammar too. Happy birthday to u..hepy bday to u..hepy bday to Ekhwan, hepy bday to u!!!! Happy bithday my dear Ekhwan!

Simply, I love everyone today! I love you, you and you..I am in love with YOU! Seriously, I am...Overall, I had so much fun today! All fun! Ok, the gOat is tired oledy..had so much fun today..remember people, I loVe YOU!!!

c ya round mr bloggie.