Long Trek to Freedom

Long Trek to Freedom

I am caught up in the desperate struggle against my inner self.
"Should I brutally hit my lustful desire or
should I just kill myself instead?"
I realize; this is somehow a battle to survive.
I need a precise word to change...'DETERMINATION'.

To live is to make decisions.
"Why did I choose this path?"
Let me reflect on how hard for me
to hold my attention upon changing.
I just don't have the ENTHUSIASM anymore.

The blood bath has begun since my secondary years.
Those were good years but I have wasted my years of purity.
As I yearn for changes, I lost my focus when I should
be concentrating on my studies in my hostel.
"Where have I been?", "I have been in prison!"

I have been living myself on the run for too long now.
It never stops... The longest effort lasted only for 3 weeks.
Yet I am running again.
I am running towards the darkness.
I have to admit... it's a journey to hell.

I am still hoping... for a surprise package to knock my door.
A package of freedom, free from this lust.
"It can't be far now... I am nearly out of prison."
I want my poetry to be read by them.
So they see my trek to freedom is nothing but a fight.

by aNs, 8 Nov 2009