Sunday, July 13, 2008

Re-live in my past memory...

I just had a BTN day. A whole day of brainwashing of my stability in political aspect of my life and my faith as an excel goat. Gosht..if that ever make any sense. I wish..

I'm living through my memories of being with a 'tree'. The tree slashes my heart many times...with a rusty peeler! It hurts..double the pain! However, the surrounding keeps blaming me for what had happened! Is it fair for me? Is there any Heartbreak Hotel open at this hour? I really need to check in..

Sarcasm fills his empty heart. No more space for nobody except himself. Why? Why? The clueless idea of making a man has made us bamboozled! One shall live in dignity no matter how ignominy it will be. The goat however thinks that the great notion is unacceptable. It is an unacceptable norm! We live in a beautiful, fat world, filled with lies and fake smiles. Plasticity keeps scraping away. The goat wonders where is the tree when he is supposed to cover me in the rain? The glass will not get any smaller. The world is on the other hand. The goat screams to the trees around him..."You're gonna miss me the way I was!".."I did what I had to do!".."Im sorry!".."Where are YOU???"

The tree had created a cocoon of human activities. Conservation, interaction, affection....etc..and it filled his life on overflowing soup bowl. The goat feels a gist of cruelty in him. The hatred grows. Nobody knows and nobody cares. The goat loves the tree! "Silly!, tree can't talk!" What will you do if I show you the tree can talk? The tree definitely can talk and stand on his feet well!

There are many sides to turn to. But, which side can be trusted? The goat asks..which side always win? The tree answers, smiling.."Love wins! Love always wins!"..he crinkled his eyes, and he crooked his teeth...pretending the world does not notice him...

The goat silently sits and think for a moment...LOVE...LOVE..what is LOVE??? He broke his back so oft that he could not remember when was the last time the lightning stroke his back...villainous.

The culture we have does not make people feel good about themselves. The goat speechlessly says..."I must be strong enough to say if the culture doesn't work, don't buy it!"..mmmbbekk....
mmmbbekkkk....all we do is to keep the game going! Get our heads in the game!

Last time I checked, I was still in this planet. If I die, you'll die and bye bye! I will never forget that moment..the way Tree looked exactly the same..only completely different. The shame that all I can think about was how hard this was for me. I was so selfish. I was so mean to the tree! I was bad! But it's too late to apologize. I just wanted to help him...but the hardest part is how quickly I had to move on. I believe it's ok to be scared and sad. It's ok to cry sometimes. I'm not the only one. I hope someday, he'll join me in the world we are living..as one. I care about Tree.

I'm living through memories of being with Tree. Though it hurts for both of us, we have to walk with seemliness in us. At least, we still have the pride to walk through each other.

Maybe there will be opportunity for us to shine on. Let the time heals everything. Let the rain clears our path. Let the moon guides us through the night.

The goat is tired. BTN was tiring. Sitting in a warm freezer the whole day made him melody-less.
MMbbeek..bbekk..bek..poot...ops..I accidentally farted..Sorry..

C ya round..;p

p/s-yippie...got no morning class tomorrow...got a class at 5pm..till 7...oMg...
proviton proviton...

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